Ready to Defend

The Ever-Alert Eastern Red Retriever

Here we see Riley, an Eastern Red Retriever, in her natural habitat among the tall grasses of suburbia. Sniffing the wind every 1.8 seconds, this stunning specimen can detect a car several yards away, or a bee directly in front of her. Her true talent, though, lies in her ability to see nothing and warn her hoomens of an impending fierce attack. Her hoomens, being an inferior species, cannot see anything or pick up a scent and are, therefore, clueless and ridiculous. Even the young hoomens have no discernible talent for smelling danger on the wind or seeing the Unseen, so it is up to her and her alone.

Despite her incessant barking using her Big Girl Bark, the hoomens will disregard this beautiful creature’s warning and simply throw a ball. But this incredible animal knows that soon, the slaughter from invisible creatures will come, and so Riley, The Big Red Girl, will continue to stand at the ready. Or lie there, stalking in secret, to protect her big, dumb hoomens. It is a thankless task, but one day…they will recognize her for the fierce warrior and protector she is. Until then, she must endure their rubber balls and …. oh, look…a stick!

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