Bathroom Break

kong
No, I did not take this picture WHILE I was peeing.

Riley and I spend a lot of time together, but more so this week because John is away on business. He needs to return, and soon. My day today (and everyday, really):

Riley: Where are we going!? I was napping, but you clearly need me right now. I can tell by your stance that it’s urgent!

Me: I’m just going to the bathroom, Riley, settle down.

Riley: Should we run!? Is there a deer? What’s happening??

Me: No need to run, just walking to the bathroom.

Riley: WE SHOULD RUN NOW!!

Me: Riley, just … get out of the way… so I can get to the bathroom!

Riley: Now that you’re sitting, I need to sniff you, to make sure you’re ok after our frightening dash to the bathroom. That was something, wasn’t it? Hey, your thighs smell like soap. Does soap taste like chicken?

Me: DOG!! CUT IT OUT!

Riley: Your lap is empty. Here is my treat ball.
Here is my treat ball.
Here is my treat ball.

Me: For heaven’s sake, Riley! Just let me pee, then I’ll fill your treat ball.

Riley: What’s that in your hand? Can I smell it?

Me: I’m just rubbing my eye, get off!

Riley: DO YOU HAVE TREATS IN YOUR HAND???

Me: GET OFF NOW!

Riley: Yay, you’re standing up again! Where are we going now??

Me: (Heavy sigh) I. Just. Want. To. Wash. My. Hands!

Riley: Here is my treat ball. Perhaps you didn’t see it earlier. I put it on your feet so you can see it better. It’s wet because I nommed on it. Now I will lay on your feet and chew on my treat ball. It will relax you.

Me: DAMMIT, RILEY!!

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